Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I am a robot...

So that is what I feel like, a curriculum-delivering robot.  At least that's what I feel is expected of me.  People with checklists in hand, clipboards, iPads and click-clacking typing fingers, noting what is posted, or what is not, watching my schedule against the clock, and talking to students.  I love my class, and the parents are supportive.  My teaching assistant is wonderful.  My students are learning, but I am flustered, frustrated, and discouraged.  Working under TEA campus improvement because of an Academically Unacceptable rating, under the PEAK value-added program designed to re-invigorate the campus, the UVA school improvement program, and a district initiative to implement a standardized curriculum is overwhelming to say the least.  No matter how late I stay or how much of my weekend I devote to planning, preparing, reading, reflecting, evaluating, analyzing, organizing, and aligning, the to do list just keeps growing.  Ever adapting to the latest directive, always learning the most recently-adopted procedure, making preparations to do things one way, then a "quick reset" that changes everything - it takes it toll in time, energy, motivation, and momentum.  I wanted this job and I know I can do it, but it is very difficult.  I think it is more difficult than it should be. 

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